Crisis communications and the search for MH370

The search for MH370 continues, with possible debris spotted in the water, but with factual information either patchy or non-existent.

It has become the Marie Celeste of the 21^st century – a modern mystery of horrific proportions, with 239 passengers and crew onboard, and played out in real-time across the world’s media.

In the absence of absolute proof that the flight did crash, relatives continue to cling to the tenuous hope that the plane might somehow have landed safely, in an echo of the TV series Lost.

It has created a poisonous brew of distrust and grief, with police ejecting relatives from press conferences and a protest march in Beijing – something almost unheard of.

But how well, or otherwise, has Malaysian Airlines coped with the aftermath, in a febrile atmosphere where nothing is quite as it seems?

Certainly, the immediate aftermath was handled badly, with media briefings providing only sketchy information, sometimes contradictory, and spokespeople not answering questions.  That allowed speculation to run riot: from dodgy passengers on stolen passports, to the pilots’ political affiliations.

The Daily Telegraph in an early editorial described the PR response as a “masterclass in how not to deal with the aftermath of an incident.”  That reached its nadir when a civil aviation chief described two suspect passengers as resembling Italian footballer Mario Balotelli.

But much of that criticism should be directed at the Malaysian government, and not the airline which, in my view, has done rather well, from issuing a relatively prompt first press release to “darkening” its website and social media channels – removing all content that could be considered frivolous or insensitive, and announcing that the flight codes MH370 and MH371 would be retired.

Its social media response has also shown empathy.  Two Tweets sum up the approach.  “For the families involved, every minute is like an hour.  Please keep them in your thoughts as we continue to search for MH370…”  Or, “We would like to humbly ask all Malaysians and people around the world to pray for flight MH370…”

The airline has tried to follow the Triple R of crisis communications – regret, reason and remedy – but has been hampered by contradictory “facts” entering the public arena, fuelled by innuendo and false rumours.  Also, while it has expressed regret, it hasn’t been able to offer reason and remedy – and nor can it until the plane is found, and likely causes of the crash ascertained.

The first rule of any crisis is to get ahead of the story.  But, in the unprecedented circumstances surrounding the airliner’s disappearance, how do you get ahead of this particular story?

The airline has also been criticised for announcing by late night text message on Monday 24^th March that it believed that the flight had crashed into the Indian Ocean, without survivors.

It looked insensitive.  But the airline, in the middle of a worldwide media frenzy, was trying to be open and transparent – something about which it had been criticised.

The airline’s PR team had already been facing an uphill battle, even before MH370 went missing – an uphill struggle that has just become mountainous.

The airline has racked up losses for the past three years, unable to deal effectively with high costs, unprofitable routes and the emergence of low-cost rivals.  In 2013, it returned a negative 4% margin, worse than almost any airline in the world.

And, while China accounts for only 7% of the airline’s capacity, China is a growth market; if Chinese passengers choose to fly on other airlines, that spells more trouble.

The airline’s share price has been falling for some time, and has fallen a further 10% since MH370 went missing.  It now languishes at about a tenth of its value in 2004.

The disappearance of MH370 is both a human tragedy and a disaster for an airline in real financial trouble.  If nothing else, it underlines the need for robust crisis PR planning.

Many companies pay lip-service to crisis communications.  MH370 is a reminder that paying lip-service isn’t enough.

Our sympathies are with everyone who has been affected by the loss of this airliner.  On a much smaller scale, my sympathies are also with the Malaysian Airline’s PR team which has done an adequate job in the most difficult of circumstances.

We are specialists in national and international PR strategy and delivery.  You can contact us at +44 (0) 1620 844736 or Charlie@davidgraypr.com

PR and the internet of things

Charlie Laidlaw is a director of David Gray PR and a partner in Laidlaw Westmacott.

The advent of big data is allowing companies to deploy smart marketing campaigns aimed at smaller and smaller segments, profiling all of us against analytical technologies that are driving messaging from the macro to the micro.

By tapping into large sources of data, smart companies are beginning to understand how the demographics and buying habits of an ill-defined crowd can be distilled into valuable marketing information to drive bottom lines.

A research report from McKinsey, published in 2011, said that big data will become a key basis of competition, underpinning new waves of productivity growth, innovation, and consumer surplus.

The report said that 15 out of 17 sectors in the US have more data stored per company than the US Library of Congress, and that the value of all that big data could translate into a $300 billion saving for US healthcare, a €250 billion value for Europe’s public sector – and a 60% increase in retailers’ operating margins.

Understanding and making use of big data isn’t just a challenge for marketers; it’s a challenge also for PR, with content management becoming of increasing importance – with compelling messages for smaller and smaller groups, even down to individual consumers.

It’s something that, conceptually, is well understood.  Content marketing topped the digital priority list in 2013, according to a Econsultancy report, although only a minority of companies had a defined content marketing strategy in place or dedicated people to carry one out.

Sophisticated Customer Relationship Management (CRM) systems and data mining capabilities now allow marketers to focus messages onto comparatively small target groups and, as big data gets bigger, those groups become smaller – the ultimate content management opportunity.

Being able to talk to consumers on a one-to-one basis remains the ultimate dream.  However, understanding consumer behaviour and market dynamics is one thing; big data, in particular using social media channels, will soon allow companies to talk to you and me – with a different sales or PR message for each of us.

But big data is set to become a whole lot bigger as “the internet of things” picks up pace, and the virtual and real worlds become a little more blurred.

The internet of things is all about making more intelligent use of information, by building in communications functionality in more and more stuff – from cars to farm animals – including the stuff we carry around: everything from store and credit cards to mobile devices.

Nor is it entirely science fiction, and there are think tanks and a consortium dedicated to its development.  It has come about through wireless and computer technology – and has implications for virtually everything.  (It’s sometimes also called the “internet of everything.”)

Imagine then a world in which every human being, animal or thing has an IP address and the means to wirelessly transmit information.  On the upside, it could be a heart patient with a monitor implanted, and who can be alerted when an irregularity occurs.

But as more and more things become smart, capable of monitoring and transmitting our every click or purchase, and GPS always knowing precisely where we are – the implications become staggering. 

The security implications are obvious; indeed, Cisco has just launched a competition to find new ways to handle security in the internet of things.  (If you have a good idea, they’re offering prizes of up to $75,000).

How the internet of things develops in the years ahead shouldn’t be down to technologists alone, because it has implications for all of us, because we’ll all have to think and behave in new ways.

It’s therefore something we should, at least, be aware of, and a McKinsey report from 2010 is a good place to start.  It’s the future of communications, but it’s already here.

We are specialists in national and international PR strategy and delivery.  You can contact us at +44 (0) 1620 844736 or Charlie@davidgraypr.com or connect with us on LinkedIn or Facebook.

Scotland the Brand, from Scott to Isaac Newton

Charlie Laidlaw is a director of David Gray PR and a partner in Laidlaw Westmacott.

Companies stand or fall on the authenticity of their brands, with brand value an integral element in corporate and marketing strategy.

The same is true of countries, particularly in a global economy: a pertinent observation ahead of Scotland’s independence referendum later this year.

If Scotland does vote to go it alone, it is the value of the country’s brand that will sustain it – driving everything from inward tourism to international investment.

Of course, defining a national brand and its value to the economy is virtually impossible, as perceptions vary enormously.  The Anholt-GfK Nation Brands Index, which ranks countries against a number of criteria, offers some insight.

 We are, of course, hotwired to think in shorthand.  For example, think of Italy, and what do you associate it with?  Pizza?  Ferrari?  Do you have a positive view on Italian manufacturing quality?  Would you buy an Italian product against a competitor product from, say, France?

In some instances, the national brand guessing game is easy.  Germany, for example, despite being on the losing end of two world wars, has achieved an international reputation for engineering excellence that has made it the economic powerhouse of Europe.

In that sense, Germany has reinvented itself.  So too, Japan.  “Made in Japan” once meant cheap and second-rate.  Now, the Japanese automobile and electronic industries straddle the world, and stand for excellence and reliability.

Scotland too has reinvented itself, most obviously by Sir Walter Scott who organised King George IV’s visit to Edinburgh in 1822.  It represented nothing less than a national brand makeover, making all things tartan chic and fashionable.  Later, Queen Victoria put the heroic back into the Highlands.

In some ways, for such a small country, Scotland is overburdened by iconography: from tartan to whisky, from lochs to glens, shortbread to haggis, bagpipes to the Loch Ness Monster, golf to kilts…the list goes on.

National symbols are important because they sustain economic activity.  For example, Scotland’s tourism industry employs some 200,000 people and visitors spend almost £11 billion a year – with many of those visitors coming from other parts of the UK.  Will they still come if Scotland becomes independent?

The tourism and hospitality industry seems split on that one, despite the Scottish government promising to cut VAT for the sector and reduce airport tax.

Whisky is another icon, an industry that employs 10,000 people and, according to the Scotch Whisky Association, exports in excess of £4 billion.  But food and drink extends well beyond the water of life. 

Scotland is also home to about 25% of the UK’s beef cattle, and we catch over 50% of the nation’s fish.  Our salmon rivers are world-famous, supporting rural and remote communities.

Or financial services, another national icon, with Scotland also credited with “inventing” retail banking.   Yet if Scotland achieves independence, banks would have over 1,000% of Scotland’s GDP.  When Iceland’s banks went bust, their assets were some 880% of GDP.  Is that brand strength, or brand risk?

Westminster politicians obviously think so, having blocked Scotland from entering into a UK Poundland after independence.  Does Scotland therefore revert to its own currency?  Or, longer term, think about the Euro?

(Incidentally, it was Sir Isaac Newton, then Master of the Mint at the Tower of London, who brought Scots coinage into line with the rest of Britain following the Act of Union).

The financial case for independence is based, at least initially, on two iconic industries – North Sea oil and the financial sector.  The SNP hopes to secure some 90% of tax from oil and gas, albeit a diminishing source of revenue, and a healthy slice of income from the country’s financial sector.  (That’s leaving to one side the issue of Scotland’s share of national debt).

That means that Scotland the Brand will be dependent on a diminishing asset under its waters, and a sector that (post-crash) the country can’t necessarily rely on to deliver a safe return.   Let’s not forget that, against Scottish tax revenues of some £60 billion annually, the cost of the bank bailouts was some £500 billion in loans and guarantees.

It’s why the SNP government is keen to develop renewables as a new icon of Scottish industry, despite some ambivalent figures – for example, that offshore wind investment halved to £29 million last year.  Biggest blow was a decision by Scottish Power to drop plans for the £5.4 billion Argyll Array windfarm.

Scotland has other strengths, particularly its track record of invention: from penicillin to the postage stamp, from TV to the telephone, the steam engine to logarithms…that list also goes on and on, to modern advances in gaming to Dolly the Sheep.  If Scotland the Brand stands for anything, it must also be about education, innovation and invention.  Medical and scientific research may become brand icons of the new Scotland.

However, in this year of decision, Scotland the Brand will also step onto an international sporting stage, helping the country to redefine itself (again) as a country of beautiful cityscapes and wilderness.  The Commonwealth Games and Ryder Cup couldn’t have come at a better time for the pro-independence lobby.

But it’s the future that will better define Scotland the Brand: how the country’s universities engage internationally; how Scotland diversifies from oil and financial services; how Scotland can find niche industries to build worldwide reputation; how it attracts inward investment; and how it promotes its festivals, cities and landscapes.

Scotland may or may not vote for independence.  But the debate has done one great thing for Scotland: it has raised awareness internationally in Scotland the Brand, a marketing opportunity that the country should grasp with both hands.

We are specialists in national and international PR strategy and delivery.  You can contact us at +44 (0) 1620 844736 or Charlie@davidgraypr.com or connect with us on LinkedIn, Facebook or Google+.

Literary quotes for PR writing skills

Charlie Laidlaw is a director of David Gray PR and a partner in Laidlaw Westmacott.

It was Oscar Wilde who suggested that “there is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about."

Being good at PR involves many skills, not least an ability to communicate a promotional direction that integrates corporate and marketing strategy.

Because the new PR is about business strategy; no longer on the periphery of the marketing mix but, in a new world order of social and digital channels, a central component in managing corporate reputation, driving engagement and winning customers.

“Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.” – Rudyard Kipling

But there’s one timeless skill that anyone involved in PR needs above all others: an ability to write cogently, lucidly and persuasively – and that’s a skill not everybody has. 

Or as Frank Lloyd Wright put it: “I’m all in favour of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters."

Good writing starts long before putting pen to paper (or finger to keyboard).

 "If I was down to the last dollar of my marketing budget I'd spend it on PR!" – Bill Gates

The richest man in the world should know what he’s talking about.  However, before you write anything you have to understand what the story is.  Not the nuts and bolts of what the new product (or operating system) is: but the added value it offers customers.  In other words, don’t simply communicate the technology, get to grips with what it does and why people should buy it.

It’s as well to remember Mark Twain:  “The public is the only critic whose opinion is worth anything at all.”  If they don’t understand the value of your new product, they won’t buy it.

“A good PR story is infinitely more effective than a front page ad.” – Sir Richard Branson

Again, Sir Richard should know, but it’s worth setting out some SMART objectives for your PR strategy, and the metrics you’ll use to measure success.  Interestingly, creativity is now being seen as a key element in how the value of PR is perceived, however you go about measuring its effectiveness.  If you haven’t read the latest Holmes Report, have a look at its main conclusions.

Good writing needn’t always be creative writing, but it often helps.

 “The formulation of a public relations strategy properly begins with listening, not talking." - Leonard Saffir

Wise words, because to write a perfect press release, blog or article needs a clear understanding not only of what it is you’re trying to sell – but what people are saying about it, or about competitor products.  For example, what’s out there on social media?  Or if your product solves a problem, first understand the problem.

Competitor analysis is also important, because you don’t want to copy the competition. You want to differentiate your product or service.

“If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough.” – Albert Einstein

Okay, few of us understand the theory of relativity, but we all know that part of Einstein’s genius was to simplify the hugely complex. 

The trouble is a lot of PR material is written people who don’t have a clear idea who they’re writing for.  Who is the audience you want to reach?  If necessary, visualize your audience as a person who you actually know.  Write your material for him or her personally.

Shakespeare is also worth quoting:  “An honest tale speeds best, being plainly told.” (Richard III)

“A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.”- Mark Twain

Having sent out your material, keep a close eye on how it’s being received.  That’s not just important for ROI, but making sure that you’re not being misrepresented on social media.  Mark Twain was writing in a bygone age; but even then an untruth could very quickly gain currency.

A good tip is to make sure that nothing you write is capable of being misinterpreted.  Check and double-check.  Don’t exaggerate or make unfounded claims.

“If you don't tell your story, someone else will.” – Unknown

PR is no longer the optional bolt-on it once was.  In the digital age, everyone can say anything about you – good or bad, true or false.  It’s as well therefore to have a PR strategy to get your message across, before someone else does.

But how to learn how to write?  Perhaps the last word should lie with the late, great American journalist Charles Kuralt.  “I think good writing comes from good reading.”  Or maybe author Ray Bradbury.  “There are worse crimes than burning books.  One of them is not reading them.”

We are specialists in national and international PR strategy and delivery.  You can contact us at +44 (0) 1620 844736 or Charlie@davidgraypr.com or connect with us on LinkedIn or Facebook.

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles

Audiences, Orwell and corporate messages

Charlie Laidlaw is a director of David Gray PR and a partner in Laidlaw Westmacott.

Back when dinosaurs roamed the earth, PR was pretty simple: you wrote something that you thought potential customers might like to read and sent it out to as many media outlets as possible.

What has changed in the intervening years is our ability, driven by digital technologies, to better understand the audiences we are selling to and, using both traditional and social media, better interact with them.

Understanding target audiences has always been fundamental to building successful marketing campaigns but pre-internet, it involved making some fairly rudimentary and broad-brush assumptions.

 

Put simply, if you were selling cosmetics, you targeted women’s magazines.  If you were marketing a new razor, you targeted men’s magazines.

Audience segmentation was limited by the media you could reach and, given the hit-and-miss nature of PR, companies and public sector organisations relied more heavily on paid advertising.

All that has changed in a process of Orwellian evolution that now allows marketers to focus with greater precision on smaller and smaller target groups, with messages specific to our needs or aspirations. 

Sophisticated Customer Relationship Management (CRM) systems and data mining capabilities now allow marketers to focus down onto comparatively small target groups.

In the new world order, where every click of every mouse can be recorded, it may not be long before audience segmentation becomes truly personal – a tailored message specifically for you or me, based on where we live, our gender, demographic profile and browsing habits.

It was, perhaps, big politics rather than big business that first pushed the boundaries of audience segmentation, both to reach and reassure core supporters and win over floating voters.

In the UK, back in the 1990s, that was typified by the invention of “Essex man” and “Mondeo man,” both less-than-mythical creatures who inhabited the undecided middle of British politics.  Essex man had done well out of Mrs Thatcher, and many had switched allegiance from the Labour Party.

Mondeo man was Labour’s demographic response at the 1997 election – an average person, driving a standard car, with a family to support – almost a mirror-image of Essex man, and someone to be wooed assiduously.

Interestingly, Ford have recently admitted that Mondeo man did them no favours – the suggestion that commonplace meant ordinary placed them at a commercial disadvantage against other car manufacturers such as VW.  (You can read more about Ford’s gripe here).

However, it was American big politics that took segmentation to a whole new level, in particular the social media strategy behind the election and re-election of President Obama in 2008 and 2012.  It used big data and digital channels to clearly focus messages – and, where possible, target individual voters.

Dr Pamela Rutledge of the Media Psychology Research Centre has a fascinating blog post that neatly encapsulates all that the Obama team achieved, and how they did it.

For most of us, without access to large research budgets, making good use of data must of necessity be on a smaller scale.  Like, for example, a retailer with a large stock of XXXXL clothing to shift.  Simple: contact everyone who has ordered that size in the past with an irresistible offer (unless they’ve been on a diet, in which case it won’t work!)

A thought-provoking case study is how Accenture, with tech partners, worked with the Royal Shakespeare Company to analyse data held by the theatre company, segment that data, and then craft messages pertinent to each sub-group.  The result, at a time of budget restraint, was a hugely significant uptake in ticket sales.

Segmentation models do of course vary, not least because of desired outcomes between the public and private sectors.  An interesting piece of research was by the National Co-ordinating Centre for Public Engagement (NCCPE) and the Economic and Social Research Council (ESRC) and which looks at segmentation methodologies for public engagement.

Lastly, it’s then down to the quality of the sales or corporate message; connecting your company and its products or services with its buying public.  In that sense, engagement is a two-step process; first, to understand and segment audiences and, second, to then influence their buying decisions or patterns of behaviour.  It’s a new fusion between marketing and PR.

What’s both frightening and exciting in equal measure is how evolving technologies will crunch big data into bite-sized chunks, and then chew them into smaller segments until our individual lives are laid bare for other people’s legitimate or illegitimate benefit.

A research report by McKinsey, published in 2011, sets out some of the opportunities and challenges ahead.  “The amount of data in our world has been exploding, and analyzing large data sets—so-called big data—will become a key basis of competition, underpinning new waves of productivity growth, innovation, and consumer surplus…”

The report says that 15 out of 17 sectors in the US have more data stored per company than the US Library of Congress, and that the value of all that big data could translate into a $300 billion saving for US healthcare, a €250 billion value for Europe’s public sector – and a 60% increase in retailers’ operating margins.

Maybe we need another Orwell to make sense of those challenges and dangers, because (and with no disrespect) it’s going to be well nigh impossible for politicians to fully understand where the new technologies might lead – unless, of course, they make use of them to get elected.

We are specialists in national and international PR strategy and delivery.  You can contact us at +44 (0) 1620 844736 or Charlie@davidgraypr.com or connect with us on LinkedIn or Facebook.

Corporate slogans and affectionate chickens

Love ‘em or hate’ em, there’s no getting away from corporate slogans.  They’re about connecting people and because you’re worth it, and that know how is just what the doctor ordered.

You may have known that the first three belong to Nokia , L’Oreal, and Canon.  The last, proving that corporate slogans don’t always last forever, was from a well-known cigarette manufacturer.

They’re ubiquitous across all advertising media, constantly demanding our attention, and all intended to project a sense of corporate identity and brand value.

Some of course are better than others, and the very best have become phrases in their own right, outgrowing the brand they were advertising.  For example, the customer is always right, was a slogan for retailer Selfridges at the start of the 20^th century; diamonds are forever, for the De Beers mining company in the 1940s.

In other words, corporate slogans must be memorable and say, or infer, something about the company or its products.  That means having a clear idea of what the company stands for, and how customers see the brand.

Developing a corporate slogan needn’t be a difficult process, and nor should it just be for larger companies.  At their very best, slogans can help to differentiate a company – personalising it in a way that resonates with customers.

Nor need it involve huge advertising budgets.  A corporate slogan can simply be carried on stationary, signage, or on corporate uniforms or name-badges – a daily reminder to staff, customers and suppliers what the company is about. 

They can be aspirational, fun or mysterious, depending on the brand.  For example, anytime, anyplace, anywhere – the iconic slogan of the 1970s Martini adverts brought to mind a world of jet-set sophistication.

Some slogans are gender or demographic specific.  Calvin Klein’s slogan for one of its perfume brands, between love and madness lies obsession, doesn’t do anything for me – but maybe I’m not the target market.

Slogans are meant to concisely distil the essence of a brand, subliminally linking it with the big idea behind it – a kind of micro mission statement.

It’s where some slogans – for example, it’s the real thing (Coca-Cola) or don’t just book it, Thomas Cook it (Thomas Cook) are on the money.  Once in the public domain, they set out a brand proposition that competitors simply can’t copy.

Some slogans are dreamed up to only last for a single marketing campaign.  Some last for years.  

Others fade away as times change.  For example, Ford’s quality is job one became irrelevant as technology and changing build practices allowed all car manufacturers to offer quality.  Likewise, for digestion’s sake, smoke Camels, didn’t stand up to medical scrutiny for very long.

Here are some of the better slogans (although you might disagree):

Mazda – Zoom, zoom

Carlsberg – Probably the best lager in the world

McDonalds – I’m lovin’ it

Gillette – The best a man can get

Apple – Think different

BMW – The ultimate driving machine

Audi – Vorsprung durch technik*

New York Times – All the news that’s fit to print

Amex – Don’t leave home without it

Skittles – Taste the rainbow

Avis – We try harder

Honda – The power of dreams

Developing a corporate slogan begins with thinking through what your company stands for, the brand promise you’re selling, and how customers would describe it.  It should also examine competitor slogans, if they have one.  (You have to define and occupy a differentiated position in the market).

But beware using your fantastic corporate slogan in different languages.  It might have consequences that you didn’t anticipate.

For example, Scandinavian vacuum cleaner Electrolux ran a marketing campaign in the USA under the snappy slogan, Nothing sucks like an Electrolux.

Best of all was the US chicken supplier that traded under the slogan it takes a strong man to make a tender chicken.  This was translated into Spanish for a marketing campaign, where it became: “It takes an aroused man to make a chicken affectionate.”

Probably not the best corporate slogan in the world but, there again, it was memorable – the first rule of any successful marketing campaign.

*The corporate slogan that we all know, but which baffles many.  Literally, it means, advancement through technology. 

Charlie Laidlaw is a director of David Gray PR and a partner in Laidlaw Westmacott. We are specialists in national and international PR strategy and delivery.  You can contact us at +44 (0) 1620 844736 or Charlie@davidgraypr.com or connect with us on LinkedIn or Facebook.

A guide to getting through Christmas Day

Okay, so you’ve opened the presents, but you still have to survive the rest of Christmas Day.

Because, make no mistake, it’s a dangerous time of year.  According to the Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents (RoSPA) more than 80,000 UK citizens end up in A&E over the festive period – some 6,000 on Christmas Day alone.

It’s not just kitchen burns or cutting your finger while peeling the potatoes – or children falling off new bikes.  A few specific Christmas horrors are that some 1,000 people are injured every year putting up Christmas decorations, over 300 are injured by Christmas tree lights – and several dozen UK citizens have died over the past 15 years by watering their Christmas tree while the Christmas lights were plugged in.

 

British hospitals report about four broken arms each year after cracker pulling accidents and some five Britons are injured every Christmas in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars.

More predictably, about eight Britons crack their skulls whilst throwing up into the loo and end up in hospital. 

Many Christmas Day accidents happen because of stairs – usually because they’ve been piled with Christmas clutter.  The other favorite Christmas hot-spot, most obviously, is the kitchen. 

While in there, don’t feel tempted to put the Christmas pudding in the microwave.  The combination of fruit, sugar and water can react violently, as a 49-year-old woman found to her cost when her pudding blew up, necessitating hospital treatment (to her, not the Christmas pudding).  

“People must realize that they are dealing with a potential explosive when they put puddings in the microwave,” a RoSPA spokesman helpfully observed, after the event.

That doesn't mean, of course, that that we can mitigate against all risk.  Some, frankly, can’t be guarded against.  Take Aeschylus, for example, the Greek playwright who died in 458 BC when an eagle dropped a tortoise on his head.  (The tortoise survived, incidentally).

Remember also that there may be 1,200 chainsaw accidents a year, but over 16,000 of us are injured by our sofas.  Socks and tights account for over 10,000 injuries (mainly falling over while putting them on), and vegetables account for more than 13,000 injuries. 

If you go out, don’t walk near birdbaths (311 injuries) or wear wellington boots (5,600).  Don’t even think about putting on trousers (5,900), don’t be rude to the bread-bin (91) and be very wary of that tin of talcum powder (73).

If you can’t eat, relax in the living room, or wear clothes, don’t make the elementary mistake of thinking that the bathroom is a safe place.  There are over 700 sponge and loofah accidents per year – and toilet roll holders, strangely, account for another 300 hospital visits.

All in all, it’s a dangerous time of year.  However, from all of us at David Gray PR, do have a happy (and safe!) Christmas.

Charlie Laidlaw is a director of David Gray PR and a partner in Laidlaw Westmacott. We are specialists in national and international PR strategy and delivery.  You can contact us at +44 (0) 1620 844736 or Charlie@davidgraypr.com or connect with us on LinkedIn or Facebook.